FEMA Approved
by kerumica
Summary: Iruka gives Kakashi a lesson in earthquake preparedness.


**Title**: FEMA Approved

**Author**: kerumica

**Fandom**: Naruto

**Character(s)/Pairing**: Kakashi/Iruka

**Warning/Rating:** PG

**Beta: **none

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is property of Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit being made.

**A/N:** I'm a total spaz and didn't realize that I had gotten a bingo card until I checked my spam folder last week. Needless to say, it being Sunday, I shall repent for my inability to keep my mouth shut around my coworkers and figure out how to un-lockdown my account.

**Summary**: Written for the kakairu_fest mini-bingo round. My card was Nature and my spot was Earth.

* * *

It was times like this that Kakashi really hated his apartment. Times when, like right this very second, he sat under a table, his arms wrapped around one of the legs, clinging for dear life as he rode out the eighth tremor of the day. This was so not fun.

"Kakashi, are you still here?"

The door to his apartment opened. He had no idea why the other man was walking around like there was nothing going on. It was an earthquake for christ's sake! What was he thinking?

"Iruka, what the hell are you doing? Get your ass under this table!"

He reached out and made a grab for the other man's pant leg but Iruka stepped back. Kakashi didn't need to see him to know that his hands were on his hips. Even with his eyes closed, he could tell that Iruka was laughing at him.

"Kakashi, it was only a tremor, barely hitting the scale at all. Will you please come out from under the table? This is getting ridiculous."

"This is not ridiculous, this is safety first. I can't believe how you are just walking around all happy go lucky when at any moment a chuck of ceiling could come crashing down on your head."

"Really, now Kakashi, you are just being ridiculous."

"Yeah, well, we'll just see who's being foolish when this is all over."

"Kakashi, it is over. Oh for god's sake…" he knelt down to look the other man in the eye. "Will you please come out? It's been two days already," Iruka said, a faint smile on his face.

"No it hasn't and I would like for you to leave if you are going to mock me."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I have granola bars and a box of raisins to sustain me."

"Well, what about a drink?"

"I have several bottles of water but if push comes to shove I read that urine is a good emergency source…"

"Oh my god! If you start drinking your own piss I'm going to break up with you. Would you please stop this nonsense?"

"I'll stop, right after the big one hits. You'll see. You'll all see."

Iruka sighed, rubbing the scar on his nose. "I'll be back later."

Several hours had gone by before Iruka returned. Kakashi was slumped over on his knapsack, mouth open, a trail of drool pooling beneath his cheek. Iruka kneeled down, smiling, as he pulled out his cell phone, capturing a silent picture before prodding the other man awake.

"Whaaa?" Kakashi said, attempting to sit up and stand only to hit his head on the bottom of the table. Iruka smirked as he rubbed the sore spot.

"What? Has something happened?" He almost sounded excited about the impending news of death and destruction.

Iruka handed him a sheet of paper. "I printed this off of FEMA's website. I thought you might find a few of the safety measures interesting."

Kakashi took the paper, reading it over quickly. There was one section of text that seemed to be particularly important since it was bolded, highlighted and its font's size increased.

_**Stay in bed if you are there when the earthquake strikes.**_

Kakashi looked at Iruka, grinning at the other man who had taken a fond interest in the lint on shirt. "Really? So the bed is the best place to be in this time of crisis? Oh, Iruka, I never knew you were so safety conscious."

Iruka blushed as he stood, waiting for the other man to finally crawl out from under the table. Kakashi stretched as he stood, joints popping from hours of being cramped up. "So, shall we retreat to the safety of the bedroom?"

"Only after you take a shower and eat a decent meal," Iruka said. Kakashi started to balk but Iruka held his hand up. "You better hurry. You never know when the next big one might hit."

Kakashi ran off in the direction of the bathroom. Iruka smiled after him and headed toward the kitchen where he had left the cooler he had prepared earlier. There should be plenty of food to keep them well fed for the next two days at the very least.

Hopefully by then he will have convinced the other man to hold down the fort at his place since his bed was much larger and he still had the fuzzy handcuffs he gotten for his birthday that he wanted to try out. He was almost sad that he didn't have to bring out the big guns and offer up some Icha Icha role-play, but there was always next time.


End file.
